Two Feet in Despite the Terror
By Emily Blefeld, LICSW and Dan Cohen, PhD
Last year on my birthday, I looked at my reflection on the water and acknowledged that I was living one foot in, and one foot out – in love, in business, and in my relationship to prosperity. The next level of my life’s expansion was fiercely beckoning me; yet, I held it at a distance… knowing full well it would require an initiation in love, leadership, and the body of my work.
Some days my ambivalence looked sophisticated. I could explain why, after over twelve years together, Dan and I hadn’t chosen to “participate in the institution of marriage,” pointing to its roots in the ownership of women, and instead committing to choosing each other every day. Or I’d accept the outdated website, inactive Instagram account, and the unpublished manuscript I had been working on for years because I trusted divination, magic, and constellation altars to carry our marketing.
Other days, it felt like confusion and overwhelm. Morning movement and healthy meals came in spurts. I packed my schedule wall-to-wall, giving myself no time to organize my finances, refine my branding and message, or create a real strategy for my expansion.
I stayed either too busy tending to what was immediately in front of me or avoided meeting the true pulse of action by saying I needed more clarity, more space to breathe and more trust that the Universe would show me the way. This left no room for the bigger projects and deeper desires calling for my attention.
Another week would pass. Then another month. I began to recognize the current carrying me forward: fear.
I feared the impact of my soul’s full throttle expression … the very part of me that is most wild, courageous, and primal. You know that light filled energy that rushes in when the Mystery is at work… when your life, your work, your desire and your deepest knowing begin to move in the same direction?
My soul was ready for more
My soul was ready for more but I questioned if my human self could truly hold the more. Not really. From past experiences, I knew that by meeting my soul’s full expression, I’d spark creative energy and also set off truth bombs that would disrupt familiar structures, relationships, and patterns of behavior. Although they did not serve me, they were the comfort I rested in.
So, I learned to pull back, to mistrust her lead when she took hold of me. I doubted my movement or subtly dimmed it down, while pressing the existential brake. From the outside, no one really knew it… I was living a full life. I loved deeply. I showed up with confidence. My family, partner and friends surrounded me. My courses were booming with enrollment. My bank account was flowering. By many measures, my life was working.
Yet, when I saw my reflection, I knew that my deepest brilliance, magnetic desire, and wild life force were buried beneath layers of armor built from heartbreak and inherited pain. Ambivalence, or avoidance, wrapped themselves like a shawl around my “yes,” and over the years tightened and constricted my flow.
That was the day I decided to get both feet wet in the waters of life, love, magic, mysticism, money, and impact. It was time to stop waiting for some version of myself to feel completely ready. I would let myself want more and then become willing to be the woman who was ready to have it. The next level of our lives often asks us to meet the places where we learned to hold ourselves back to belong. It asks us to examine our inherited relationship with power, money, love, visibility, and desire.
To do this, I needed to look fear in the eye and alchemize it. The fear of being seen. The fear of being rejected. The fear of being responsible for a bigger vision. The fear of letting my work matter at a larger scale. The fear of loving and being loved more deeply than I ever have. The fear of receiving what I had spent years asking for.
In the alchemy, I create space for my truth.
I made a life size vision board, systemic altar, and engaged my matchbox practice. I struck a match each day beside the vision and altar and stated, “I am an oracle and offer my lower frequencies, discordant energies, and all that does not serve me and was never mine to the fire of transmutation, the violet flame of my soul. In the alchemy, I create space for my truth. It is done.”
I even set a due date with spirit and declared that by my next birthday, I would be living bravely, courageously, and with openness in my heart. You wouldn’t believe what happened… stay tuned for the story of the spontaneous proposal that happened just two days prior.
In the next year, I attuned fully to my wildness, invested in my business, and allowed myself to be initiated by my soul. I worked with deprogramming, found tools for remembering, and welcomed nature’s rhythms, intelligence, energy and force to make magic with me. I embraced the weaver within and wove a tapestry of generational alchemy, systemic manifestation practices, entrepreneurial wayshowing, and natural law and whoooosh – what a ride! Do you know what it’s like to finally have the framework, the context and the language for the orchestration of the most synchronistic and profound moments of your life?!
It’s one thing to feel connected to nature, magic, and the more, but to collaborate with them as we make our impact in the world means you recognize the currency of your own energetic blueprint and co-create its fulfillment with the Universe surrounding you.
The Path of a Wildly Attuned Life grew from this lived experience. It is an invitation to spend a year exploring what happens when we become conscious participants with the principles organizing the movement of energy, relationship, and life itself.
Every time we say “YES!” to life’s expansion, we are brought into relationship with the places where our nervous systems learned to contract. Whenever life is about to get magical, we run into family rules around money, loyalties around success. We meet inner beliefs about who gets to have and who does not.
Each YES! requires we become the person who can hold the expansion…
- The Law of Vibration asks me to pay attention to the energetic, vibrational field I am creating from.
- The Law of Attention asks me to notice where I am placing my focus. Energy flows where attention goes and then we attract more of it.
- The Law of Action asks me to move when I know it is time to move. To alchemize my tendency for doubt, fear, or procrastination.
- The Law of Surrender asks me to stop gripping the exact form my future must take and to fall into spaciousness like the colors of the setting sun.
- The Law of Cause and Effect asks me to become responsible for what I am creating… to recognize how I am at cause for every effect in my life.
- The Law of Compensation asks me to examine whether I am willing to receive, to give and take in balance, to flow with reciprocity.
- The Law of Polarity asks me to recognize that fear and desire often arrive together, can I greet them both with the same respect, wisdom, and care.
- The Law of Rhythm reminds me that expansion has its seasons, and so does integration, am I willing to honor and tend my own unique natural rhythm, ebb, and flow.
- The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy reminds me that every fear, desire, disappointment, success and awakening gives me material for transformation.
This has changed the way I understand my own resistance, the way I lead, the way I make decisions, and helped me to develop the capacity to remain connected to myself while life opens opportunities.
For me, it is becoming more fully who I am designed to be, to fruit and flower, to let life squeeze me, and drink from my delicious juice while sharing it with the world. It’s being the woman and the creator who is willing to let her work and her love become bigger than the identity she once built around it.
Root deeply. Rise fully. Let yourself ripen.
If you are ready to work with the places where you contract around power, money, visibility, love, desire and success…
If you are ready to transform the inherited patterns shaping your relationship with what you want…
Join me for The Path of a Wildly Attuned Life.
Root deeply.
Rise fully.
Let yourself ripen.
Bring your gifts into relationship with others who are doing the same.
And become someone who has the capacity to hold more, receive more, create more, love more, and fully inhabit the life asking to be lived through you.
The Path of a Wildly Attuned Life:
12 Natural Laws. 12 Wisdom Keepers. One life fully lived, fully expressed, fully yours.
For those building a business, leading a body of work, and tending a life that honors both the sacred and the practical, while partnering with the enchanting forces that guide creation.
A year-long initiation into embodied leadership, where systemic constellations, ancestral wisdom, and natural law support you in expanding your capacity, amplifying your impact, and bringing your vision into reality.
